


Flavors of Love

by windychimes



Category: Bastion
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-23
Updated: 2013-09-23
Packaged: 2017-12-27 10:01:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/977452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windychimes/pseuds/windychimes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zia loves the Kid, Rucks loves the Kid, and Zulf does not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flavors of Love

Zia loves the Kid the first time she meets him. It is not because he saves her, or because he is handsome, but because he has a kindness in his eyes that she has never seen before, and it makes her heart swell up in her chest so much that she thinks it will burst.

She falls in love with him all over again every time he laughs, and smiles, which is not so often, but it is often enough for Zia to never stop. She does not think he loves her, but she is okay with that; she is young, and he is much older, and she thinks he sees her no more than a child. But he treats her like an adult, which no one has before, and he is kind, and he is caring, and she will always love him. He does not love her, but he treats her well, and that is enough for Zia.

Rucks loves the Kid the first time he meets him. He is strong, and he is determined, and Rucks does not say it, but the Kid is like the son he never had. Or maybe he is like the son he had long ago, but is now gone. Rucks will never tell. But Rucks loves the Kid because he works without knowing Rucks’ name, or a word of thanks, or any kind of reward; he works because he has to, because everything is riding on his shoulders, because he is responsible.

The Kid does not think of Rucks as a father, and Rucks is okay with that. The Kid thinks of him as a comrade, and as a mentor, but he is not the father he never had. The Kid treats him with respect, and dignity, and a friendliness Rucks has never had before, and that is enough for Rucks.

Zulf does not love the Kid the first time he meets him. The Kid is kind and courteous to him, and Zulf is grateful for that, but he does not love him. Not like Zia, not like Rucks. He likes the Kid, but the Kid saved him, and he never wanted to be saved, so he hates the Kid, just a little. When he learns of the Calamity’s cause, he hates the Kid more; the Kid, with his boyish good looks and tan skin and pale hair and all his strength, he is a shining example of Caelondia, a shining example of the Caelondia that hated him and hurt him and betrayed him. He represents everything wrong in Zulf’s life. He represents everything wrong in the world.

So Zulf hates him.

Zulf does not love the Kid, and Zulf does not love anyone else. Zulf does not love Rucks, for all his secrecy and work in creating the Calamity; Zulf loves Zia, just a little, but she is too young for him, and she loves the Kid, and not him, so sometimes he hates her, just a little.

Zulf hates a lot.

The Kid does not love Zia; the Kid thinks she is cute, and sweet, but she is like a sister to him. He knows she loves him, and he lets it happen, because sometimes it is nice to be loved.

The Kid does not love Rucks; Rucks is dear to him, and like a grandfather, but sometimes, shamefully, he resents Rucks for all the thankless work and lies, so he does not love him.

The Kid loves Zulf. He loves Zulf in all his pain, and anger, and sorrow. He loves him in all his hate. He thinks Zulf is beautiful, and he tells them that, even though Zulf punches him every time. Maybe he loves Zulf a little more for that. He does not hide his love for Zulf; Rucks knows, and he does not approve, because he hates Zulf as much as Zulf hates him; Zia knows, and she is sad, and envious, but it makes the Kid happy, so it makes her happy. If the Kid is happy, she is happy.

I love you, is what the Kid says to Zulf one day. They are all eating dinner together, so everyone hears. The Kid is unashamed. I hate you, Zulf says back. Okay, says the Kid, and he smiles like the earth. I don’t mind. Zia stares at her plate and tries not to cry. Rucks tsks and shakes his head. Zulf gets up, and punches the Kid, and leaves. The Kid rubs his jaw. I still love you, he calls out, but Zulf is already gone.

The Kid tries to win Zulf over with gifts. He gives Zulf a bouquet of sunspot flowers, bright and fragrant, and Zulf throws them on the ground and stomps them into dust. The dust rises, and Zulf sneezes, and it turns out he is allergic. That night his face breaks out in hives. The Kid feels bad, and says sorry, but Zulf does not care, and he hates the Kid more.

The next gift the Kid tries is a hairclip; he spends three days in the Forge creating it. It is a deep blue, and shiny enough to blind when the moon hits it, and it matches Zulf’s outfit perfectly. The Kid is proud of himself. When he gives Zulf the present, a deep frown like a canyon sinks into Zulf’s face. Zulf does not want to accept it, but his hair has grown long, and it often gets into his eyes. Thank you, he says, voice stony and cold. But I still hate you.

That’s okay, the Kid says, and he has a grin like sunshine underground. I still love you.

Zulf wears the hairclip every day, and he hates it, hates it almost as much as he hates the Kid. Zia is jealous, but she never says so.

The third gift is a ring, bright and golden. He spend five days on it, evening out every edge, every plane, and it is so smooth and soft it will never pinch or cut. Are you asking for my hand in marriage? Zulf questions when the Kid presents it to him, and his voice is black coffee, bitter and astringent. No, says the Kid, and his own voice is pretty as a river. It’s just a ring. It’s a promise—one day, you won’t hate me.

No, says Zulf, but he wears it anyway.

This goes on for many months. Zulf still does not love the Kid. He hates him less, and his anger towards the Kid, and Rucks, and Caelondia, and the world, has died down to a dull ember he is too tired to keep going, but he does not say that. The Kid still tells Zulf he loves him, and that he is beautiful, and Zulf still punches the Kid every time, if only to keep up appearances. His hair grows longer, and the hairclip keeps it firmly in check; the ring is still comfortable on his finger.

The Kid does not give him anymore gifts, and sometimes Zulf misses it.

More time passes, and the Kid still loves Zulf, and Zulf still does not love him, and the Kid accepts it. He does not pursue Zulf any longer. He does not tell Zulf he loves him. He does not tell Zulf he is beautiful. He stops making plans for gifts in his head. Everything goes on as usual, and Zulf, Zulf who still hates, Zulf who still angers, however dampened it may be, Zulf finds himself missing the Kid. He misses being told he is loved, and he is beautiful, no matter how much he did not like it previously. Sometimes it is nice to be loved. Zulf notices the Kid becoming closer with Zia, Zia who has grown up and filled out in all the right places, Zia who looks like a woman now instead of a girl. The Kid’s gaze lingers on her, disgracefully, crudely, in all the places it shouldn’t, and Zulf’s stomach crunches in envy. Zulf stops wearing the hairclip and cuts his hair short. Zulf takes off the ring and throws it over the side of the Bastion while the Kid watches. Zulf sneers every time the Kid and Zia talk, every time Zia’s eyes turn into stars and her cheeks turn to roses and her smile turns to doves because she loves him, she loves him so much, she loves him for all of time even though he does not love her. Maybe he does now, maybe now that he’s let go of Zulf and now that Zia has grown up, grown out, maybe now he loves her.

The thought makes Zulf’s heart sink into a swamp.

He spends many hours thinking about the Kid, thinking about Zia, thinking about his jealousy. He does not love the Kid, but he does not hate him, not anymore. He does not hate a lot of things anymore. He does not love the Kid, so he should be pleased if the Kid and Zia become a couple, because Zia will be happy, and Zia deserves to be happy. But he is jealous, more jealous than he will ever admit. Maybe… maybe he does not mind the Kid so much. Maybe… maybe he almost likes the Kid. Maybe, maybe. Maybe he should talk to him sometime.

I don’t hate you, Zulf says to the Kid one day. Zulf does not mean to say it, but it comes out anyway. Everyone is listening, everyone is watching. Their gaze sinks his soul. I don’t hate you, he says again, says instead of, I hate you, and that’s not what he means to say, that’s not what he means to say at all.

The Kid laughs like rain. I love you, too, he says. Zulf punches him out of habit, and feels bad for the first time. The Kid laughs again, like falling flowers. I love you.

Zulf grumbles and stomps off and feels childish but a little happy. He wears the hairclip again even though his hair is too short for it. The Kid makes him a new ring, and he puts it on and never takes it off. Sometimes, secretly, all alone, Zulf will take the Kid’s hand in his own. The beaming grin the Kid flashes him makes Zulf want to punch him, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t punch the Kid anymore, even when the Kid says I love you or calls him beautiful.

I’m really happy for you two, Zia says, and her eyes are puffy and red from crying. She will always love him, forever and ever, no matter what. She will always love him, even when she’s lost. Take good care of him, okay?

We’re not together, Zulf grumbles, but it lacks conviction. Zia smiles through her sadness. Good luck! she says, and when she laughs, it is a mix of regret and acceptance. She leaves, and Zulf’s face turns as red as a sun through smog, and again he says, we’re not together, but only to himself.

No one believes his words, not even him.

Zulf slips his hand into the Kid’s, and everyone is watching. Zulf doesn’t look at them, but he feels their eyes burn into his back like a brushfire. They’re all waiting. They’re all judging. I… Zulf's voice sticks in his throat like a frog. I think… I think I may like you.

Zulf’s head is light as an ocean breeze. His body swims like the sea. I don’t hate you.

The Kid grabs him by the shoulders, grabs him nice and hard, grabs him like he grabs his hammer, and kisses him, right on the lips, right with everyone looking. Thank you, he laughs. He smiles like never before, like a sunny day after the rain. I love you, too.

Zia claps through her tears. Rucks shakes his head, but doesn’t speak out against it. Zulf feels happy. Zulf feels embarrassed. Zulf feels like punching the Kid. Zulf feels like running away. But he doesn’t do that, and instead he kisses the Kid on the forehead, kisses him on the nose, kisses him on the cheeks, almost kisses him on the lips, but falters. I like you very much he says, and his heart explodes in his chest. I don’t hate you.

The Kid leads him to his tent. They lie down together, and the Kid holds him close, and kisses him until his breath is no more than a ghost. They stay like that for a long time, longer than forever, and Zulf’s heart is happy for the first time since he can remember. Since the first time he chooses to remember. Later, the Kid makes himself a matching golden ring. They are not married, and it is still just a promise, and Zulf still does not love the Kid. But he does not hate him anymore. He does not love the Kid, but he likes him, and that is good enough for the Kid, so that is good enough for him.

He may love the Kid one day, or he may not, but he likes the Kid, and does not hate him, and in the end, that’s all they need.


End file.
